One of the most important things I've had to learn as an independent musician .. is to trust myself.
I know that might sound like a no brainer or a casually cliche statement... but it's totally true. When I started out... back in March of 2008 .. I had no idea where or how to begin my musical journey. I researched my face off, googling like a fiend and taking countless notes.. slowly plotting out my every move. I talked to anyone and everyone that would listen and eventually started networking (on a crazy baby scale). I decided that I wanted to play the piano.. an instrument I'd loved forever but never really took on. I wanted to sing and write songs... again, I didn't have a clue how to do that... I just trusted that I could.
I managed to get my hands on a beautiful old upright ~ with the help of three freakishly strong friends, I manuevered the piano into my tiny apartment. Each night after work I would play... hours upon hours.. I listened to musicians like Elton John, Jon McLaughlin and even Thelonious Monk. I was looking for rhythmic fodder... examples for me to imitate, practice with and eventually grow to create with. I was so desperate to learn that I'd have my piano tuned almost every other month just to hear the guy tuning it play amazing works of art. The second he'd leave my house I'd sit down and try to duplicate what he'd just done. It was a great learning experience for me.
Then came songwriting. Holy moly was this insane for me! There are literally hundreds of ideas on songwriting and though I've learned that there are general formats/formulas to follow... coming up with your unique style is an art on its own. I'd like to think I've gotten better at crafting my songs.. but I KNOW I still have a lot to learn. :)
When I first started writing, I was heavily influenced by my classical background. As a result.. my melodies were overcomplicated, my piano lines were so intricate that no other instruments could really fit into the song.. and .. I was moving in a hundred different directions on the "genre" front. I was trying.. but I was lost. I didn't know what box I wanted to fit into ... what artists I would maybe be played on the radio with. I loved singing all kinds of music so I just tried it all out. R&B, Pop, Country, Jazz Standards, Rock.. I was all over the place. I eventually found my individual voice and style and decided to take my show on the road.
Again, another hurdle. I didn't know how to sing my melodies and play the piano lines I'd written. I couldn't split my brain in two like that. I was nervous on stage, self conscious and unsure of my right to a spot in the light. I'd managed to get a band together and was pretending to be the leader... but I didn't know where I was leading us. I just trusted that I'd figure it out ~ thus, my favorite independent musician motto was born. "Fake it 'til ya Make it." And that's exactly what I started to do.
I practiced so much more ~ playing my piano 'til all hours of the night... trying to separate my hands from my mouth. Working out my own technique for splitting my brain into two sections~ One that could focus on the words, rhythms and melodies of my songs, and the other that would focus solely on the notes and timing of my piano lines. It was definitely a skill I had to work at. My late night practice sessions eventually brought the cops to my door.. a few noise complaints later, I was evicted and living out of my car. Everything I owned was stuffed into a storage unit .. it was really depressing. But I made sure my piano was the last thing we packed so that I could still visit my unit and practice. ;) I felt more determined than ever.
I kept pushing forward, reminding myself that if I didn't quit, if I kept going.. I would make something of myself. My music would be the platform I could stand on to speak to the world. I joined every music group I could. I looked for artists that were doing what I wanted to be doing.. especially picking local talent that was further along the path than I was. I figured, if they'd been at it longer than I had and I could do what they were doing at an earlier point in my career, I was bound to make bigger waves as I got further down the road. I read books and went to conventions. I listened to artists that I loved and wrote down the structure of their songs... picked apart the things that made the hook so catchy, took note of what the tempos were... I was studying up and putting what I'd learned to practice.
I saved my money for over 10months to be able to record Don't Turn On The Light Though it was only 5 songs, I put every bit of myself into it. I worked with amazing musicians, a wonderful production team and moved forward even more. I learned how my lyrics could become more impactful. I learned how to make the chorus stand out more. But most importantly ... I learned to take criticism.
Writing a song is kind of like giving birth (I would imagine)... if someone doesn't like your baby, if they think it's ugly or vapid... that can tear you up inside. You love your song... so you want to defend it... but sometimes, your song could be better, stronger..... altogether more. Hearing my work get torn apart was rough for me. I struggled with trust in a big way. I wanted to trust the producers I'd brought on to make my music better, but I wanted to trust my gut too. Were my thoughts all of a sudden invalid? Did I need to set aside my vision and intent to make way for theirs? It was a difficult internal process for me. And what I learned was that I needed to walk the line between ego and intuition ~ another pairing I had to separate. My intuition would know when to push for an idea… setting aside my ego would allow for new and better ideas to be heard. It really ended up being a win win.
After my EP was released... I thought I'd soar to stardom. Haha ~ obviously that hasn't happened yet. (don't worry, I'm still workin' at it) ;)
My EP was good, I even got some amazing attention from it. I signed a few publishing deals, grabbed the attention of some industry big wigs and even secured an incredible mentorship with Don Grierson
But again, I found myself lost. I had to trust myself and keep moving forward. I worked with Don and learned even more about songwriting ~ moreover HIT songwriting. What makes a hit... can I write one? Who do I admire? Why do I admire them? If I read their lyrics without music... would they make sense. This was such a profound lesson for me. I went back to the drawing board.. writing and composing.. this time separating lyric and music so that both could stand on their own. I learned to simplify and focused my energy on a singular path.
Eventually I found myself face to face with a moment that has completely changed my life. I realized that although I was committed to making things happen for myself, to writing great songs and sharing my music with the world... my internal convictions didn't match my external actions. I was still spending more than half of my life working to progress someone else's dream ~ Giving over 40 hours a week to the corporate world. So again, I had to take a leap of faith and trust myself. Trust that I was good enough, that I would work hard enough to keep myself employed as a full time musician. Without a second thought I quit my corporate job and leapt into the deep end of the professional musician pool. It was quick ~ like ripping off a bandaid ~ and I was a little scared.. no doubt about it. But I realized that there's no "good time" to change your life. You will always find an excuse.. a reason NOT to go for it... so just take a deep breath and jump. :) That's exactly what I've done~ and I couldn't be happier.
Though I know I haven't reached my goal as a musician yet, I trust that I will. :) To quote the most incredible animated conscience of all time.... "If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme."
Life is what we make it... so let's make it everything we could ever hope for! :D
I know that might sound like a no brainer or a casually cliche statement... but it's totally true. When I started out... back in March of 2008 .. I had no idea where or how to begin my musical journey. I researched my face off, googling like a fiend and taking countless notes.. slowly plotting out my every move. I talked to anyone and everyone that would listen and eventually started networking (on a crazy baby scale). I decided that I wanted to play the piano.. an instrument I'd loved forever but never really took on. I wanted to sing and write songs... again, I didn't have a clue how to do that... I just trusted that I could.
I managed to get my hands on a beautiful old upright ~ with the help of three freakishly strong friends, I manuevered the piano into my tiny apartment. Each night after work I would play... hours upon hours.. I listened to musicians like Elton John, Jon McLaughlin and even Thelonious Monk. I was looking for rhythmic fodder... examples for me to imitate, practice with and eventually grow to create with. I was so desperate to learn that I'd have my piano tuned almost every other month just to hear the guy tuning it play amazing works of art. The second he'd leave my house I'd sit down and try to duplicate what he'd just done. It was a great learning experience for me.
Then came songwriting. Holy moly was this insane for me! There are literally hundreds of ideas on songwriting and though I've learned that there are general formats/formulas to follow... coming up with your unique style is an art on its own. I'd like to think I've gotten better at crafting my songs.. but I KNOW I still have a lot to learn. :)
When I first started writing, I was heavily influenced by my classical background. As a result.. my melodies were overcomplicated, my piano lines were so intricate that no other instruments could really fit into the song.. and .. I was moving in a hundred different directions on the "genre" front. I was trying.. but I was lost. I didn't know what box I wanted to fit into ... what artists I would maybe be played on the radio with. I loved singing all kinds of music so I just tried it all out. R&B, Pop, Country, Jazz Standards, Rock.. I was all over the place. I eventually found my individual voice and style and decided to take my show on the road.
Again, another hurdle. I didn't know how to sing my melodies and play the piano lines I'd written. I couldn't split my brain in two like that. I was nervous on stage, self conscious and unsure of my right to a spot in the light. I'd managed to get a band together and was pretending to be the leader... but I didn't know where I was leading us. I just trusted that I'd figure it out ~ thus, my favorite independent musician motto was born. "Fake it 'til ya Make it." And that's exactly what I started to do.
I practiced so much more ~ playing my piano 'til all hours of the night... trying to separate my hands from my mouth. Working out my own technique for splitting my brain into two sections~ One that could focus on the words, rhythms and melodies of my songs, and the other that would focus solely on the notes and timing of my piano lines. It was definitely a skill I had to work at. My late night practice sessions eventually brought the cops to my door.. a few noise complaints later, I was evicted and living out of my car. Everything I owned was stuffed into a storage unit .. it was really depressing. But I made sure my piano was the last thing we packed so that I could still visit my unit and practice. ;) I felt more determined than ever.
I kept pushing forward, reminding myself that if I didn't quit, if I kept going.. I would make something of myself. My music would be the platform I could stand on to speak to the world. I joined every music group I could. I looked for artists that were doing what I wanted to be doing.. especially picking local talent that was further along the path than I was. I figured, if they'd been at it longer than I had and I could do what they were doing at an earlier point in my career, I was bound to make bigger waves as I got further down the road. I read books and went to conventions. I listened to artists that I loved and wrote down the structure of their songs... picked apart the things that made the hook so catchy, took note of what the tempos were... I was studying up and putting what I'd learned to practice.
I saved my money for over 10months to be able to record Don't Turn On The Light Though it was only 5 songs, I put every bit of myself into it. I worked with amazing musicians, a wonderful production team and moved forward even more. I learned how my lyrics could become more impactful. I learned how to make the chorus stand out more. But most importantly ... I learned to take criticism.
Writing a song is kind of like giving birth (I would imagine)... if someone doesn't like your baby, if they think it's ugly or vapid... that can tear you up inside. You love your song... so you want to defend it... but sometimes, your song could be better, stronger..... altogether more. Hearing my work get torn apart was rough for me. I struggled with trust in a big way. I wanted to trust the producers I'd brought on to make my music better, but I wanted to trust my gut too. Were my thoughts all of a sudden invalid? Did I need to set aside my vision and intent to make way for theirs? It was a difficult internal process for me. And what I learned was that I needed to walk the line between ego and intuition ~ another pairing I had to separate. My intuition would know when to push for an idea… setting aside my ego would allow for new and better ideas to be heard. It really ended up being a win win.
After my EP was released... I thought I'd soar to stardom. Haha ~ obviously that hasn't happened yet. (don't worry, I'm still workin' at it) ;)
My EP was good, I even got some amazing attention from it. I signed a few publishing deals, grabbed the attention of some industry big wigs and even secured an incredible mentorship with Don Grierson
But again, I found myself lost. I had to trust myself and keep moving forward. I worked with Don and learned even more about songwriting ~ moreover HIT songwriting. What makes a hit... can I write one? Who do I admire? Why do I admire them? If I read their lyrics without music... would they make sense. This was such a profound lesson for me. I went back to the drawing board.. writing and composing.. this time separating lyric and music so that both could stand on their own. I learned to simplify and focused my energy on a singular path.
Eventually I found myself face to face with a moment that has completely changed my life. I realized that although I was committed to making things happen for myself, to writing great songs and sharing my music with the world... my internal convictions didn't match my external actions. I was still spending more than half of my life working to progress someone else's dream ~ Giving over 40 hours a week to the corporate world. So again, I had to take a leap of faith and trust myself. Trust that I was good enough, that I would work hard enough to keep myself employed as a full time musician. Without a second thought I quit my corporate job and leapt into the deep end of the professional musician pool. It was quick ~ like ripping off a bandaid ~ and I was a little scared.. no doubt about it. But I realized that there's no "good time" to change your life. You will always find an excuse.. a reason NOT to go for it... so just take a deep breath and jump. :) That's exactly what I've done~ and I couldn't be happier.
Though I know I haven't reached my goal as a musician yet, I trust that I will. :) To quote the most incredible animated conscience of all time.... "If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme."
Life is what we make it... so let's make it everything we could ever hope for! :D